Tales From a Second Hand Wand Shop- Book 1: They Were the Best of Gnomes. They Were the Worst of Gnomes. Read online

Chapter Thirteen

  Wherein Grimbledung has a Grand Idea

  “Stop that!” Commanded Rat, “You look positively absurd.”

  “Rat! You’re awake! Great. I need your help.”

  “Wonderful. What with? I was just getting ready to start my nap.” Rat yawned.

  “But you were just asleep” said Grimbledung confused.

  “Yes. That was sleeping. Now I will be napping. They’re completely different things,” explained Rat.

  “No they aren’t.” Countered Grimbledung,

  “Then why aren’t they called the same thing?”

  Grimbledung opened his mouth and then closed it. “I guess you’re right, but wait for a bit to nap- I need your help” pleaded Grimbledung.

  “With what?”

  “The same as always; spelling. Mind the store.” Grimbledung rushed through the curtain as Rat sat up.

  “Minding, minding” said Rat in a monotone.

  “Drimblerod, I need a couple of boards and some paint,” said Grimbledung. He cautiously continued, “For something.”

  Drimblerod was seated on the floor, a dozen cans of wands sitting around him. “In the back” he said without looking up. He pulled a wand under his nose and inhaled as if it were a long cigar. “Reds” he mumbled as he put the wand in a red-spattered can. Without looking, he reached for another wand from the large pile.

  “Hey, Dummy” said Grimbledung, “do you want to help?” He looked around the room conspiratorially. “With something.”

  Dummy was pointing a wand into the Abyssmal Box. He shook his head at Grimbledung and waggled the wand at the box. A solid stream of water shot out of it. He placed the wand in a can with blue wavy lines painted on it. A dozen cans surrounded Dummy. Some had figures, some symbols, one had a large question mark. It had six wands in it.

  “No idea, huh?” Grimbledung asked as he pointed at the can.

  Dummy shrugged.

  “Sure you don’t want to help?”

  The dummy shook its head and pointed to the platform with a mitted hand.

  “Ordered to stay put. Fine, suit yourself,” finished Grimbledung as he moved to the storeroom in back.

  A few moments later he came shuffling out with two squares of wood, several paint cans, brushes, and a length of rope. Neither Drimblerod nor Dummy paid attention to him as he fought past the curtain with his load.

  “He’s a very strange Gnome,” said Drimblerod. “But at least he’s being quiet.”

  Dummy nodded as he picked up another wand.

  “All right, Rat,” started Grimbledung. “This is what the sign needs to say ...”

  ‘I’m listening.” Rat had a piece of parchment and a bit of charcoal in his paw, ready to take notes.

  Grimbledung cleared his throat. “This is your chance to own a great magical wand!” Declared Grimbledung. “Great power at reasonable prices! Lots of wands to choose from. Free wrapping and no hassles from the law. Come buy your wand today.” He smiled proudly.

  “Got it.” Said Rat almost as soon as Grimbledung had stopped speaking.

  “Really? You don’t need me to repeat it?” Asked Grimbledung, “I didn’t see you writing a lot.”

  ‘Short hand,” explained Rat. “Don’t worry,” he assured Grimbledung, “I’ll write it on both pieces so when you tie them together, folks going either way will see it.”

  Grimbledung opened the cans of paint and put the brushes beside them. He arranged the wood squares side by side. “How is that?”

  “Great. I’ll get this done so I can nap.”

  Grimbledung hopped from foot to foot and twirled the rope over his head. “Great power! Reasonable prices!” He sing-songed, “Lots of wands too. Buy today.”

  “OK,” said Rat after just three iterations of the song, “I’m done.”

  “Already?” Asked Grimbledung, sorry he was going to have to stop playing with the rope. “That was quick.”

  “It’s just what you want. Trust me,” assured Rat. “Now tie them together at the top.” He pointed to the tops of the boards, “This end,” he added.

  Grimbledung twirled the rope over his head like a long ribbon one more time. He then drew his dirk and punched holes at what Rat said were the tops of the signs. He square-knotted the two lengths of rope at the top, and tied another length along the bottom so the wood formed a crude ‘A’. “That should do the trick, eh, Rat?” He pointed at it proudly. “That’s one nice looking sign!”

  He carried the sign out the door and sat it on the boardwalk. In big red letters it proclaimed:

  SaLe Too Dae

  And in smaller, light brown letters, it whispered

  No Ree funds!

  “Are you sure that it says everything I said?” Asked Grimbledung, “That’s not a lot of writing.”

  “Yes. Don’t worry. It’s short-hand. Businesses do it all the time.”

  “Does it say ‘Lots of Wands? That’s important.”

  Rat rolled his one eye, “If it will make you happy, I can add that.”

  After Grimbledung muscled the sign back into the store, Rat dipped the brush in black paint and added to the sign

  Hooge Inventorie

  Rat had to go back to re-dip the brush for the other side. “Happy?”

  Grimbledung clapped and hopped back and forth. He took the sign and placed it on the walkway in front of the store and came back in giddily. “This will be great!” He squealed. “Rat, watch the store while I put this stuff away.” He grabbed up the paint and brushes and hurried to the rear storeroom. As he passed Drimblerod and Dummy, he shielded the paint cans with his body, sidestepping through the room. He was sprinting as he came back through empty handed. Neither Drimblerod nor Dummy even looked up from their tasks.

  Grimbledung burst through the curtain, “What’d I miss, Rat?” He asked.

  Rat was already napping.